Breakups-What to do now?

Break up sounds cruel, but that’s what happen when relationship doesn’t work out.  As cold as it sounds, but this may not be happening only because he/she stops loving you…something else might have been the case.   However, in this broken heart stage..your logic, reasoning, and thinking are probably unclear.  What is happening at this stage??


Rejection & Denial

Human hate rejection.  That’s all there is.  When you think again clearly the guy/girl who broke you off may/may not have been the cause of your breakdown.  It’s just because, we, human hate being rejected.  It is natural to be sad and hurt but the following action wouldn’t do you any good…At this point you are probably asking yourself million of questions: Why? What went wrong? Was I not good enough? etc.

These questions will go on and on forever….and you are not going to find the REAL answer to all the questions my dear.  It’s because when a person wants out…of the relationship..that’s a good enough reason to break it off..  As cruel as it sounds…it is true….When there’s no attraction anymore….there’s nothing holding onto you and him (except for memories….but memories do fade)  You may be thinking, Ploy you are so horrible! Why do you have to rub this in my face?! OR My guy is definitely different! You don’t know anything!

You could be thinking that but all I am saying is that I’m here to help….not to brag like I know you or your partner.  And I am definitely not the GURU for breakups (lol I wouldn’t want to be one) BUT I’ve been in so many breakups that crushed me onto the floor that I had to find a way to understand what the hell is happening.  Reactions of you toward the break up is an important key to help getting him back and or move on completely.




There’s no use of going after the person who breaks you off and beg/cry so he/she could feel……….WHAT?………..pity of you? Seriously girls (and guys), don’t try to cling onto someone for so he/she could see how much they’re breaking you.  Do not give them the pleasure of doing so.  He/she would even be more curious of you when they see you completely fine, and not letting the gravity suck you down to the ground.  Some guys (who are jerks) could be testing you out, by “poking you” by poking I mean, seeing if he still matters to you/reminding you not that he’s still around.  For example: Liking you facebook pic/status, sending you a smiley face, sending you a text asking HOW ARE YOU (Are you hurt that he left you), asking you directly if “YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT US HUH?” (punch!) and etc.

If that those poking action starts to happen, your best answers for this is to smile, be nice, cut the sentence short (NO MORE THAN 3 sentences: Hi, it’s very nice to hear from you. I am quite busy at the moment, let me get back to you when I’m not.”) Well, If he’s just liking your picture then ignore, but if he starts sending you text or calling to see if you’re alive, that’s your best answer you can give him and cut it short.



Have you see the movie called Oz- The Great and Powerful? Where Theodora, turned green and said she wanted Oz to know that this is what he has done to her? Well, did you see Oz realizing that he has done wrong to Theodora and lived in regret for the rest of his life? No. He’s happy with the new, happy, independent girl. Yes he was happy.  And did Theodora gets his attention? Yes BUT for being bad and crazy.  Would you want the guy to feel that way towards you?? Do you wanna be seen as “oh wow, she’s strong…she’s very independent maybe I’ve made a mistake leaving her” OR “whoaaa she’s crazy! I didn’t know she was like that. Thank God, I left” ?? Think about it.



I’ve been there…after a painful break up I would listen to sad songs, and felt like everything was relating to the guy. You could do that, it is normal..but think about what will that do to you except rubbing on your wound.  Instead of listening to hurtful songs, why don’t you try listening to songs that make you stronger from a breakup?

For example:

– What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

– Break you by Marion Raven

-This is how it feels by The Veronicas

– So What by Pink

– Mistake, Warrior, Everything you’re not by Demi Lovato

– Irreplaceable by Beyonce

I can list you many more, but you get the idea.  These are the songs that will make you stronger..why listen to songs that will pull you down to the ground…?


After the break-up, all you want to do is probably lay in bed, eat ice-cream and/or feel sorry for yourself.  NO! You can do that for a day, but after that you need to get up fast and start improving yourself physically and emotionally.  As much as you wanna just rot in bed and see no one, you have to get up right after you fall.  I’m not saying that I’m against ice-cream or anything, but not doing anything else other than that will just witter you away.  Girls, you definitely don’t want to look sad and ugly (sorry but thats what crying does to you) after breakup.  You would want to get out there, change your look up a bit, go out with friends and have fun (be sure to post pictures so he can see how happy you are too:)) That’s a revenge you’re gonna be giving him.  He’s gonna be like ” Wow, what has happened to her? She changed her hairstyle, fashion style, or makeup styles.  I wonder if she’s seeing another guy?”
Think about it, who would want to be with a sad and gloomy girls that don’t care about how they look?? Society might feel sorry for you but the only person who can help YOU getting through this is yourself.  Start moving forward now. You can do it.


That’s a big NO for you if you’re thinking about doing that.  As much as you want to hurt yourself  because the heartaches hurt more, feeling like you should react dramatically, getting his attention, or whatever the reason may be..it’s not gonna make him feel regret for what he did (far from bringing him back). If you ever feel like you want to do that, I would say go see a counselor (but sometimes counselors will only make you feel like you’re mentally ill)…But before, when it happened to me, what I did was get a Tattoo…(not in the guy’s name of course, you don’t want his name to be buried in your skin forever) but get something for you..something that represents you or your family.  That’s only the case that you feel like physical pain is a way to wake yourself up.  All I want you to remember is that, there’s always at least a person who you definitely don’t want to hurt, but you will definitely hurt them if you hurt yourself.  Think about your friends and family.  There’s always that person who will push  you back up on your feet whenever you fall…talk to them..



I know it well, that breakup is a very difficult time.  A broken heart is not broken forever.  “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”  Remember, if you need someone to talk to, I am still here for you girls.  Because I understand..that’s why I am here…Email me, message me on facebook, etc. if you need to talk:)

Until next time, take a very good care of yourself.


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